I've learnt something about human relationships. We are naturally self protective. If we feel a lack of warmth from another person, we respond by backing away, ourselves. That response elicits a similar response in the other, and our relationship becomes caught in a downward spiral. And a lot of it is subconscious!! We're not even aware that we are doing it!!! The only thing that can save it, is if one of those people notices what is happening and makes a conscious decision to be aware of, and reverse that behaviour - and perhaps even share that observation with the other person in the relationship so that they too can work at restoring it!
My natural response is the same as everyone's! I too want to protect my delicate heart! So as it gets poked and neglected, I tend to back away from that source also. But God's love teaches me the other way. He says that as I can come and receive his unrestricted and freely offered love at any time, regardless of how undeserving I am, so I need to be with others.
I need to give that love, regardless of how much comes back to me! I need to be willing to love freely!!! Give freely!!! "70 x 7!!!" - ie way beyond what is expected!!! And that love, freely given, begins to reverse the cycle, and bring restoration.
His way is the way of life and true love - the way of healthy relationships!
(Just a footnote to say this does not include accepting and living with destructive abuse. That is a completely different scenario!)
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