I was wondering this morning, about why God found his way through to my heart so many years ago, when so many struggle to connect.
I think it may have something to do with the depth of my need. I felt unlovely. Unworthy of love, but hungry for it. Unable to appreciate that I had any real abilities. Unable to compare myself favourably with anyone. I was broken. And I guess I epitomised the word "humble". Not that I chose that attribute as something worthy of having! I just didn't have any sense of real value.
And I think it's in this place that God can touch a heart. When you don't think you have anything to offer. When you're not assured within yourself of how much you can do! When you don't have the belief that you have what it takes to make it through life, yourself! In that place of need and dependence, he can become what he needs to be in your life - without all that 'self' interference. Not to say that that 'self' thing has never been a part of my life!!! I'm human!! Of course it has!! But it doesn't work out well.
There are passages in the Bible that talk about how God can work with the humble, but cannot reach the proud. The proud are full of their own achievements and abilities, and feel no need for him. So he cannot be theirs! Being aware of your 'nothingness' without him, opens you to the beginning of a connection that brings out the 'everythingness' that you were meant to be in him. Makes you realise the beauty and value that he sees in you!! Creates a bond that is living and precious and changes the core of you.
But he cannot work with someone filled with pride and self-reliance. Humbleness is the chink in our armour - his way in.
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