Long ago I learnt that love is much more than the feelings you may or may not be experiencing. It's a decision to be there for someone and to be love, regardless of what emotions are crashing through the moment. I also promised God time out of my day every morning - a decision that has brought me some wonderful moments with him.
This morning I came down onto the beach in the young morning light to do just that. And as I started to wander along the shoreline, I told him that I loved and adored him. And then I stopped. And I was confused for a minute. I was speaking words to him that I'd spoken before, but in this moment, he knew my heart as I spoke them, and while I was trying to connect, I was not feeling that depth of love and adoration I was speaking of. And they felt false. Just for a moment.
And then he popped into my mind what I'd learned about love - that it was much more than a feeling! it was a decision I'd made. And the words I was speaking, we both knew to be true. Even though the feelings weren't there right then. They were based on years of experiencing who he was in my life! Years of him standing with me, holding me up, filling me with love and life and courage! Years of pondering the answers to life's questions. Years of knowing. Years of decisions based on who I've come to know. And while the feelings weren't present in that very moment - all that decision and knowledge was! And I realised the words were not a pretence at all.
And as I walked with him, I began to sing a song, through no mind searching of my own. I'll let you see why I thought he'd put it there. ❤️
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