Had a pretty stressful 24 hrs. A couple of family members ended up in hospital for different reasons. The night had been long and mostly sleepless. I prayed, as I had many times during those hours, and the thoughts that went through my head were - please, let there really be a God who will hear and answer my prayers. And I felt guilty for doubting.
It struck me as a bit strange that I usually have the strongest, most real sense of the knowledge that God is real and there for me - and then there are these moments, when for some reason I question. And wonder. And I'm disappointed at my inconsistency.
As I sat in the cafe, waiting for breakfast, whilst one of those family members was being processed through the hospital system, I thanked God for taking care of everything. And I mentioned that moment of not being sure - and that I was sorry, because he'd always been there for me. And the thought he shared with me was this -
Even John the Baptist had his moments of questioning... The man who most knew who Jesus was - the one who had dedicated his life to announcing him - the one who had seen irrefutable evidence from God himself, that this was the one sent to save us - who was very aware of all the miracles Jesus had performed, proving his identity - this very man had found himself in a low and despondent place, questioning all he'd believed and declared throughout his life. And Jesus did not rebuke him, but sent words of reassurance and comfort.
If you find yourself in one of those low places, questioning if your God is there for you, remember this. Jesus described John the Baptist as one of the greatest men that had ever lived. He had some of the greatest reasons to believe. Yet even he had moments of doubt. Your God is there for you. And he will show himself. And he won't condemn you for your doubt. ❤️
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