Condolences...

A family member recently lost their beautiful daughter. A gorgeous girl, loved by all who knew her. And as I read through the responses to the family's sad announcement, a word was repeated, over and over...

Condolences.

What a weird word! What does it mean???

I know it means that we are trying to find an appropriate way to offer support and sympathy to someone who's experienced loss. And the gap between their experience and ours at that time is noticeably huge. And we're not quite sure how to fill that gap. So we grasp a word that's been assigned for such a solemn occasion, and we run with that. And the grieving one understands its intent, and is grateful for the support.

But it's a very old fashioned word, and we don't use it in general speech at any other time. So it seems a bit awkward. Maybe it just fits the style of the occasion.

I was thinking though - what if we tried to use the words we use every day instead? Even though it might be harder to think of them. What if we just said things like "I have no idea what to say. I want to be there for you, but words seem so inadequate." or "I am so sorry. You'll miss them so much." Maybe if we use our common, everyday language, our words will have more meaning for those we share them with. And it might be more of the gift we wanted to share.