My time with God this morning was quite contemplative. It was probably the last time I'd get to pray in this garden, and I wanted to soak it in. My mind wandered over the ways God had used these times I'd spent focused on him here. And yet another of the awesome benefits of prayer occurred to me. It teaches me to be totally honest with myself. I don't get to hide my true feelings and behaviours from God! He already knows them! So what's the point of pretending I'm doing better than I am?! And so I get to lay it all out there. And I see what my real motivations and intentions are, despite what I might want them to be. And then, as I am humbled by my not so greatness đ, he gently stirs my heart to a better way. So by not pretending - by honestly seeing who I really am, I am able to be changed to a more loving way. Without that, I stand defiantly defending my "rightness", and I am stuck there. Â
