Imagine you were Mary - Jesus' mother. Imagine the joy of his birth. The pleasures -watching his first steps, hearing his first words! The pride in his intelligence and quick learning, his wisdom and kindness as he grew into a young man. You felt the wrench of heart as his independence grew and he no longer needed you as he had growing up. He left home and traveled from place to place, trying to teach people about the love of God. He had a passion and intensity about him that you loved - even as you had to defend him against friends and family who found him a little odd. And the miracles!!!! Amazing!!! The things her child could do!!! Only convincing her more of the realness of his identity.
And then the confusion. The church leadership turned against him. The knot in her stomach when they arrested him! - the charges were serious!!! I'm sure as a mother she'd prayed for her son every day of her life, but now those prayers had urgency and fear attached. Yet I'm sure she believed that God would care for him - keep him safe. After all, he was God's child! He was doing God's work! He was a good man! Surely God needed him here, doing the great things he was doing!
Imagine the sick ache in the pit of her stomach as she watched her beloved boy, broken and bleeding, staggering under the weight of his cross of shame. Watch as she fought her way through the dense crowd, to stay as close as she could - longing to reach out and touch his face - to kiss his forehead - to pour love from her eyes into his. But he was wrenched from her. Her body shuddered with sobs as the hammer rang out on the nails. Exhausted, she clung to her place, as near as she could be, until his final breath.
What mother could bear the weight of that terrible pain??? Her heart was shattered into a million pieces! Her hopes died with him. How could he be the Saviour for their people that the angel had promised now that he was dead??? How could God have let this happen??? Why hadn't he done something??? So many prayers! So many praying. Did God not hear them??? Did they not believe enough??? Did they fail because they were too sinful??? "What sin was I holding in my heart Lord, that you did not hear me???" Brokenness. Intense disillusionment. Where was God when he'd been needed most???
Now follow God - Jesus' father - for a moment. He'd watched his son with pride as he accomplished each step of his mission. He'd nurtured him, encouraged him, helped him to stand strong against the evil one who was determined to end him in his human frailty. But now ... at the very end ... when he precious son needed him most ... when the devil was laughing in his face and beating his boy to a pulp ... he had to stand back and let it happen. While his stomach churned at the cruelty, and his heart broke from the pain, he had to stand silent. While prayers from tortured hearts, like those from his mother, tore at his heart, he could not give them what they wanted. It would have destroyed everything. So he stood, in terrible silence, willing his son to make it through! And at Jesus' final breath, his grief mixed with finality and fury at that cost, thundered in the heavens, shook the earth, and ripped the divide between God and man apart forever!!!
God is good. God's heart is huge! His love for his child is beyond anything we know! And that includes you!!! You are his child! He loves you with a deep and reckless love!!! So reckless his own son's life was at stake! He hears your prayers. Those deep, gut-felt prayers that cry out from your soul. He feels your pain. He answers - in wisdom and deepest love - not always the way we'd hope. Always in his mind is the hope to bring his children home! As many as is absolutely possible!!! To a home beyond this world of pain! And sometimes that means that he can't answer us the way we beg him to. Even though his heart breaks for us. There is a bigger story. And although every child's story is a big deal to him, he must make the move that fulfills that big story.
Never think that God hasn't heard your prayers. Or that he doesn't care. If he hasn't given the gift that you've ached for, be very sure, there is a bigger reason.
