I came across some poems I'd written many years ago :) I'd written them not long after the breakdown of my first marriage - which at the time felt like I'd walked "through the valley of the shadow of death". I know divorce seems pretty commonplace these days, but my heart knew it wasn't meant to happen - and it broke into a million pieces. I grieved as if the one I loved had died. It was eight months before I realized the sun was shining. And probably a year before I started to smile again.
It wasn't long after this that I was reading songs of David in the book of Psalms. I loved how he poured out his heart to God - good or bad. That everything he was, was laid bare before his maker. He knew God loved him, and his true self was safe with Him. I wanted to try that too. This is the result ....
PSALM OF MY SOUL
Dear Lord, You are my reason for living.
Without You I would have nothing.
You give me my sense of worth, direction and security.
You are forever with me when my friends cannot be.
Who can I rely on but You?
There is no-one who cares for me or knows me like You.
You are so gentle and patient with me.
So many times I have let You down and You are still there for me.
Who am I to You that You should love me this way?
I have done nothing that I should deserve such devotion.
Your selfless love is more than I can understand.
How I wish I could worship You with all my heart.
I feel so helpless in my selfish humanity.
My love is so cold, so stifled.
Only You can set me free from that Lord.
You are the giver of life and healing.
Fill me with Your love so I can really serve You.
I have been through so much in my short life Lord.
When my world fell apart, I had nothing -
I didn't even have the strength to reach out to You.
But when I couldn't hold onto You, I still knew You were there.
You brought me through.
May I never forget the price that You paid for me,
Or overlook Your faithfulness and love.
My life is so rich from knowing You.
Help me to give myself completely to You.
You are all that I have -
My shelter. My rock. My God.
