In my forming years I wanted to be a doctor, then a nurse, then a physiotherapist. I explained to my interviewer for the physiotherapy course that it was because I wanted to help people. She said that wasn't enough of an answer. (I guess she heard that all the time.) But in my mind - it was enough.
That theme has been playing in my mind my whole life! The moment I graduated as a nurse, I went for an interview with Medicin sans Frontieres (Doctors without Borders). I wanted to go to Africa and make a difference. But they needed a little more experience than I had - and then I found love, and marriage, and children.
As my children grew older, and as a theatre nurse, my husband planned to send me on a cleft palate trip that my original training hospital (Sydney Adventist Hospital) runs. He knew I would love it! But somehow the finances and timing were never quite right.
With my kids nearing the end of high school education, I volunteered as nurse/companion on an aid trip to Cambodia that the school runs. It was humbling to see the meagre way others have to live, under the tyrannical pressure of loan sharks and corrupt governments, and yet how joyfully they shared what they had. And our eyes were opened to the plague that is the terrible sex trade, and two organisations, Destiny Rescue and She Rescue, set up in combat.
Just recently my attention was drawn to a doctor who set up a refuge in Africa for orphans and children who's parents are unable to care for them, called OVI, and my heart longed to be a part of it. And even here, in our relatively affluent society, I know there is a need for people who care for those who have lost it all. And it pulls me. All of it! So that I've been searching for my next move.
I was thinking of leaving my job as an agency theatre nurse and finding something that would fulfil that long desire. But now my child has a child! And while she's taken to her new role very naturally, she needs me when things get overwhelming! And again, financially, things are not quite right.
And I'm puzzling this all over in my head yesterday as I set up for a cataract surgery - and God spoke into my mind. He said "You're part of something that gives people back their sight." That's true!!! I am!!! And I do many other types of surgeries too to help people with their struggles! And he said "And I gave you a job that allows you to help with the family finances also. And have plenty of time to be with your family." All true! And valued by me. And so I realised something.
While our hearts may long to be a part of something awesome, that is creating real change in deeply-needing lives, sometimes we forget the gift that we are in the place we are. And maybe we're doing exactly what God sees is perfect for us right now. That's not to say those dreams won't still exist in me - I think it's good that those causes stir me! And one day I might get to live in one! But I need to remember not to undervalue the roles that I play right now. I am already living my dream. ❤️
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