Where are Your Eyes?

I look at myself and I get so discouraged. I want so much to be like the beautiful heart that is Jesus, and yet I know so many times I am not. I know there is selfishness in me that rises up, over and over.

You'd think, after all these years of being his, that being like him would get easier. Instead, I am aware, more and more, of how far short I am. The thing is, that's where Satan wants my eyes - on me. On my failures. It brings me down so that my heart shrinks away from my worth in God.

God doesn't want my eyes there! He wants my eyes on him! The beauty of who he is! His goodness, kindness, strength and incredible love! And he wants me to remember my value in him! That he created a beautiful work of art in me! Paid an enormous price to buy me back when I sold myself cheaply to one who only wanted to belittle me! Stands in my place, every day of my life, so Satan's judgements have nowhere to land!

The more that I focus on who I am in God's eyes, the less my failures have a hold on me! Instead, I am held, secure and valued, in him. And rather than shrinking away, my heart opens up to be a gift again.

Many years ago, I wrote this poem. It still impacts me, even now - especially the double meaning of the word "deny". It wasn't deliberate. I just noticed it as I was reading it back to myself. But it's powerful that way.

"If all that I had was your word Lord,

To insist on your love for me,

Perhaps I'd consider it emptied

By all the falsehood in me.

For so many times I have wandered

From the path you have shown me to tread

And so many times I have failed you

When I've been so faithfully led.

I'm so tempted to give up Lord,

To tell you to go on alone

For I don't feel I'm worth all the effort

That you've consistently shown.

But I look to the cross - and it draws me

To give my life back to you

For I cannot deny such expression

Of what I am worth to you."

He paid so much. Why would he give up on me now? He makes me feel so valued and beautiful. Why would I not love him forever?

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